....To remind myself of a few things.
How far I've come, how much I'm loved, how blessed I am.... And that no matter how confusing or lost I may feel, there are reasons around me every single day - to celebrate this life I'm living.
However, I also had hopes that during the course of this year I'd leave Arizona, regroup in Pittsburgh, and find myself on my way to another city, another life, another chapter that even I wanted to document, wanted to read. But here I am at the end of January... still in Pittsburgh and still so unsure of my direction. I feel lost, in ways I haven't felt... perhaps ever. And this blog is becoming a reminder of how unsettled I am, how unsatisfied I am.
I dread updating it at times.
But I keep doing it - even if my entries are a week delayed - to remind myself that I have an obligation to find that direction, that life, that meaning that I know I am meant to find, live and love.
I keep wondering if I'll end this blog on April 26th, a year after I started it, the day of my intended goal. Or if I should keep it going - until that first day comes. And by "first day" ....I mean "First Day of the Rest of my Life" in whatever form it may be.
Because there WILL be a "First Day."
I have to believe that.
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